I’ve talked plenty lately about being objective. An editor must remain so while editing another’s work. An author must attempt to be so while writing for their designated audience. And both authors and editors work best together when they learn to look at the work without bias or personal emotion.

But, for the first time, I find myself completely unable to remain objective when writing about a topic. And I think this means that I should not write about it.

Yesterday, I had to take my best furry friend to the vet, and after 15 years of loyal and loving service, I was asked to perform for her the most difficult service one can ever be asked. Our Betsy (Queen Elizabeth to those who knew her well) was extremely unwell. Deaf for some time, mostly blind, encumbered by hip displasia and arthritis, but still with an overdeveloped appetite, she was no longer able to cope. It was my job to care for her as well as she has cared for me, by easing her pain and freeing her from the confines of her diseased little body.

Every other time in my life that I have had to endure extreme pain or sadness, I have been able to “write it out”. But when I returned home from the vet for a drink and a rest, I found myself unable to write about the experience of knowing this bossy little dog. And even more unable to write about the experience of the afternoon. She had been gone less than 15 minutes when I stepped in my front door, and immediately, I went straight for my desk and sat down. But my hands rested on the keyboard for some time, completely still, before I admitted to myself that I could not write. Instead, I curled up in bed for a while and watched videos.

Some experiences are meant to be shared. If we have a unique and meaningful experience, it is our duty to use it to help or teach others. My experience was meaningful, but hardly unique. I take some comfort in knowing that I am not the first dog owner who had to endure the agony of the decision to euthanize their best friend. And so I think something I already suspected is true: not everything needs to be written. There are some stories that will not help people, or prevent someone else’s pain or struggle. Betsy taught me many lessons, such as not barking when your mouth is full, do not eat dead things you find on the beach, etc. And it seems she is still teaching me from beyond.